The Metamorphisis

Madness does not erupt,
it unfurls.
blues and flowers unfolding from themselves
beautiful in the dance and the lunar pull.
Jealousy emerges, creeping emerald along
the edges of vision, harbinger
of a venomous faint.

Passion ignites, burning out as quickly as
it catches. Red and bloody, teeth and fangs.
The fortunate touch the flame before its
gone.
Melancholy hangs about, a loyal companion
at every corner. Carefully stepped around and
run into with open arms. Greys and hues of bland
indifference.

Death presents itself.
In glory, in finery, in back alley, in black,
in color and harmony in misery and foul.
Protest and disclaim, embrace and accept,
death presents itself regardless.
It leaves no survivors intact.

The words that make me stop where I am standing and feel that pain again.
The loss, the love, the putting it aside because I cannot have it, I cannot touch it, it isn't mine anymore. But as it goes, you know. Every word brings me back to you.

...
you moved in slow degrees.. a sudden memory
you're a Leonard Cohen song
but every now and then I'd swear I'd see you standing
on a sidewalk
in a restaurant
in a taxi passing by

Get down on your knees
Whisper what I need
Something pretty
I feel that when I'm old
I'll look at you and know
The world was beautiful

when you feel the world is
crashing
all around your feet
come running headlong
into my arms
breathless

Your love is just the antidote when nothing else will cure me
There are times I cant decide when I cant tell up from down
You make me feel less crazy when otherwise I'd drown
But you pick me up and brush me off and tell me I'm OK
Sometimes thats just what we need to get us through the day

All I can say
I should have said
Can we take a ride?
Get out of this place
While we still have time
Wanna take a ride?
Get out of this place
While we still have time
We still have time

I could've spent a life with you
but those days are over
you meant more to me then than
I think you ever knew

When you go, I'll let you be.
But you're killing everything in me.

Somedays I want to call you
out of the blue
it's not like you've forgotten me
we just avoid
because it's harder now
there are boundaries there
that once didn't exist
you know..
before you left me.
and I was stupid and wanted you back
and now you are there
i can't have you because I moved on
and i couldn't take you with me
i wasn't alone
but you are
and you love me because i don't love you
and you want me because im not yours
and you want to take care of me because it's not your job
and you would make me happy because it wouldn't be for long
and you would say what i want to hear to get what you want
and I wouldn't even have to ask
you would right the wrongs
you would clean the slate
but id have to make choices to get there
and you burnt me on those
because when they are wrong
it's a slow and painful death.
you are never a good choice.
never a good choice.
but
somedays I want to call you.

Will you love me when I am dead?
Will you posthumously forgive my
wrong doings?
My short comings
my faults
why must you always point them out?
I am not being sensitive.
No, I'm not.
You do! You are mean.
I can take constructive criticism.
No, I can't.
But you still try to give it
and I try to be polite
but I hate you inside.
What do you know of me?
You know my lies
who I think I am
or think about being.

Will you love me if I live?
Will you forgive my trespasses
so that I have a will?
A reason to go on.
You musn't use it against me though
when I am well.
If I survive this whole thing
you must never mention your self
sacrifices
I really don't care, and it
won't help me heal.

Will you love me if I leave you?
Will you forgive my screaming need
to get away?
To be far away from you
no thinking
no asking
no second guessing
I need you
out of my life
But I want you to love me anyway
and adore me anyway
and worship me anyway
And be too good for you,
all at the same time.

I can't sober up.
I have tried, time and time
again
you are intoxicating
suffocating
You are the trap
snapped shut
I have tried to break free. Time and time
again
you are annihilating
terrifying
What am I without you?
Free
I have tried to be free time and time
again
you are captivating
imprisoning
My heart is broken
I have tried, time and time
again
to fix it,
heal
you are
you are
blinding
you are
unforgiving
you are
mine.

I thought I would float
I'd rest on you and
I would float
And the fact that I
was floating in
someone else's sea
didn't occur to me.
I didn't stop once
and say
I am not yours to save
I am a fish in stocked waters
I am not yours to catch
Illusion and twist of words
and I am free to sail
but only still in the confines
of my
pond my box my bowl
It sounds less like
lies
less like infidelity
if i take away the word with meaning
and insert
something else that says
less
something less dangerous, less important
then I can pretend
it simply isn't
real
and float.

you.. tantalize my tongue
you
give me shivers of pleasure
up and down
my spine
where your sweet
silky
lips
meet the salt of my red hot
skin

your arms are ropes binding
like satin like
silk
just smooth like mine no
wonder
i love the feel
nimble hands caress and
move
where your fingertips
smooth
curves
meet the sweat of my red hot
skin

you tantalize my tongue
you
electrify my blood with
the curve
of your
breast
the softness of your hip
just
there and then
i am lost
lost
where my lips
meet the taste of your red hot
skin

I stole glances at you
like a pick pocketing thief
I had no right
I have never had a right.

You were so near to me
I could have touched
If I were brave
I have never been brave.

You were so protective of me
I didn't even know I was in danger
But it wasn't for me
It has never been for me.

I wanted you to see me
As something you haven't yet
But you didn't look
You have never looked at me.

I know all your secrets
The deepest and the dark
But there are none of me
I will never be your secret.

I will break the rule
And light a candle in that window
But you will not come
You will never come for me.

Okay, I cheated on the year of chics. Heathcliff gave me this book, and there was no way I could wait until February. I love this man. Love him.
There is a flow to his words.. I read this book in one evening. I could not put it down. It's pure beauty.

For beginners, aka future Baricco lovers, I would recommend starting with Silk. Then this one, then Ocean Sea.

( The Book )

So it was a happy and willful cheating.

I have several reviews to do, but I want to keep them separate.. so I am going to put them behind cuts. Not that I have many friends.. but why clutter the ones I do?

( The book )

( Review )

Rating: 7.5

( Review )
Rating: 9

( Review )
Rating: 2.5

( Review )
7

( Review )
6.5

( Review )

Review: 8.5

( Review ) Review scale of 1-10: 6

I didn’t hear what you said..
I am sure it was more excuses.
Did I say you could touch that?
Don’t try anything while my back is turned.

I think you have me confused.
I tried to explain myself, perhaps
I wasn’t clear.
I’d like to put my hand up and tell
you not to go there.

I wonder if you’d listen.
I’ve tried to tell you so many times
I am beginning to sound like my mother.
I didn’t listen to her either. It’s par.

I warned you from day one.
It’s all I asked. I didn’t think it was a
particularly difficult task.
Don’t break my stuff.
But you couldn’t keep your hands
to yourself.

Now you want to sweep it up, you’re
sorry, it was an accident.
Just move I can do it myself. I’ll do it better
anyway. You’re in my way.
You’ll just make it worse.